As more people spend time providing elder care services to parents or other elderly family members, they often experience stress or difficulties because of the services they provide. Elder care, especially for untrained volunteers, can be very difficult, and it’s important to know when you need to step back and think about the difference between caregiving and caretaking.

Caregiving and caretaking are both words that describe elder care, but they can also be used to distinguish between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. A caretaker is someone who provides care but in a manner that is unhealthy either to the caretaker or to the elderly person. Caregiving, on the other hand, can be used to describe a healthy relationship where both the caretaker and the elderly person have a positive experience.

So how do you know the difference? It’s a fine line, but caretaking is often stressful, frustrating, and exhausting. Caregiving, on the other hand, is loving and, though it can be stressful at times, is something you draw strength and inspiration from.

Caretaking will often lead to feelings of depression in the person who provides care. The long hours, stressful situation, and feeling of constant pressure are common feelings for caretakers who are overwhelmed by the process. Also, unhealthy caretaking relationships do not give the person providing care a sense of accomplishment. Caregivers, on the other hand, come away feeling better about themselves knowing that they have helped someone else with their problems.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

We never know when we might be involved in a serious car accident, succumb to a medical emergency, or become a victim of a violent crime. If you are overcome by one of these situations, wouldn’t it be a comfort to know that emergency responders and health care providers had the information they required in order to save your life? And if they were unable to save your life, wouldn’t you want your loved ones to have the news of your passing be delivered as gently as possible? That is the purpose of an In Case of Emergency (ICE) card.

An ICE card usually contains the following information:

- Your name and contact information;

- Listing of any medical conditions with which you have been diagnosed;

- Listing of your known allergies;

- Name and contact information of the person(s) you wish to be contacted in an emergency;

- Name and contact information of your primary care physician;

- Name of your insurance provider, as well as your policy number.

Creating an ICE card is relatively simple and easy to do. There are some for-purchase websites that provide ICE cards that go into great detail, but there are also many free templates to be found online as well. One such website belongs to AAA, and it contains a free template that is easy to print and understand.

If you have not yet taken the time to create an ICE card, you should do so as soon as possible.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

As seniors age they often experience the desire to keep their interests static and to not branch out into new things. While this tendency is natural, it can also be a hindrance to your ability to maintain an independent lifestyle. Here are a few tips you can use to help you preserve your ability to live on your own terms.

Seek financial advice.

A good financial planner can help you maintain your financial independence by not only organizing your finances, but also by proposing new financial tools of which you may not be aware. Your advisor should also be able to help you determine how much your lifestyle costs and develop a plan that allows you to maintain that lifestyle for long as possible.

Update your home.

Elderly people have different needs than younger people have, and while you may want to remain in your home it’s always a good idea to consider new updates or improvements that can better allow you to do so. Simple additions, such as automatic lighting and additional grab bars or handrails in the bathroom can make your home environment much easier to navigate.

Stay active socially.

Even if you have good family relations and close friends, it’s always a good idea to try new things. That doesn’t mean you have to suddenly join a group of strangers, but it can mean taking simple steps, such as going on a regular walk in a park or attending community plays or other social functions.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

When parents become unable or unwilling to continue caring for their children, often the grandparents come to the rescue. Many serve solely as a guardian for their grandchild or grandchildren, while some grandparents proceed a step further and adopt the children. Without the love and care provided by these grandparents, these children would likely become another sad case in the state’s files. So what is a guardianship? For that matter, what is the difference between a guardianship and adoption?

A guardianship occurs when the court gives someone, who is not the child’s parent, custody over the child’s person or power over the child’s property. There are three different scenarios in which a guardianship may end: (a) the court may determine the guardianship is no longer needed because the natural parents have been deemed fit, (b) the child turns 18, or (c) the child is emancipated.

Serving as a guardian is a big responsibility. A guardian will be tasked with providing the child a place to live; monitoring and guiding the child’s conduct; making sure that the child gets an education; and, providing the child with proper food, clothing, shelter, and medical care.

The difference between a guardianship and adoption is the effect it has it on the natural parents. If the court grants an adoption by the guardian then that will completely sever the natural parents from the child. They will no longer be able to regain custody, or even to involve themselves in the life of that child.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

Getting older is difficult, but dealing with a parent that lets everyone know just how bad it is is not so easy either. Millions of Americans provide unpaid care to elderly parents each year, and, whether it’s done out of love or just to save money, providing this care does not have to drive you insane. If you are providing care to a difficult aging parent, remembering the following information can help you retain your sanity and help to relieve your stress.

Remember: You need to put yourself first sometimes.

Sacrificing your sanity or your own marriage is not required. Recognize that you cannot do everything for everyone. If you can, try and delegate some tasks and responsibilities to other people that are able to help you. Similarly, if providing care is testing your temper then you need to recognize that, own it, and find someone who can do the job before you lose that temper.

Remember: Know your limitations.

Instead of delegating tasks you have undertaken, this concept reminds you not to undertake some tasks in the first place. In short, you needn’t think of “no” as a bad word.

Remember: Account for their condition.

Your parent may say things that are hurtful to you, or not notice things you’re doing for them, but remember to account for their condition before you get upset. For example, if your parent has dementia, their brain is not functioning properly so you shouldn’t expect them to praise your kind actions.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

Sometimes, it becomes necessary to take the keys away from an aging parent for safety reasons. Doing so is never an easy decision since driving is such an integral part of our society. The following considerations may help you to decide when it’s time to broach the subject with your parent.

Driving a car involves both physical and mental ability, and both must be considered when evaluating a person’s fitness to drive. How is your parent’s vision? Does he or she have cataracts, glaucoma, or another vision-related condition that may limit or prevent safe driving? Perhaps a restriction, such as no night driving, would be more appropriate than no driving altogether. Consult your parent’s optometrist or ophthalmologist for help in identifying vision problems and solutions.

What is your parent’s physical ability? Does he or she lack the strength to control the vehicle properly? As people age, physical strength and size diminishes. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that most elderly people engage in no regular, physical activity. As a result, their bodies are frail, which is why seniors have the highest death rate from car accidents. Although your parent can’t stop their body from shrinking, they can take steps to limit its physical decline by engaging in some type of aerobic and strength conditioning program.

Finally, consider going for a ride with your parent behind the wheel. Take that time to evaluate the way in which they are handling the vehicle. Do they allow the vehicle to drift? What is their driving speed in relation to the speed limit? Do they seem confused?

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

Attorney-in-fact. Anyone who creates a power of attorney chooses another person or organization who has the legal right make decisions on that person’s behalf. The person or organization chosen is known as an attorney-in-fact or an agent. Attorneys-in-fact do not have to be lawyers. Being named to that position does not allow them to do anything other than act in the way the power of attorney document specifies.

Incapacity. Under the law, an incapacitated person, also known as an incompetent person, cannot enter into new agreements or make decisions on his or her own behalf. A court must determine if a person is incapacitated and, once it does, that person must have a guardian or conservator appointed over him or her. It falls to the guardian to make decisions for incapacitated person.

Guardian or conservator. Courts can appoint a guardian, sometimes known as a conservator, for an incapacitated person. Guardianship responsibilities will usually be divided between two different types of guardians. One guardian will have the responsibility to manage the incapacitated person’s financial responsibilities and property, while the other will have the responsibility to make decisions about the person’s daily life, including medical or healthcare choices.

Advance Directive. Along with the power of attorney, a person can make his or her own choices about who will make decisions should that person become incapacitated. With an advance medical directive, also known as advance directive, health care proxy, or healthcare power of attorney, a person can choose someone who will act to make medical decisions, should incapacitation occur.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

For retirees and those on a fixed income, financial planning is necessary to ensure you don’t run into financial problems. Because you’re retired, you cannot count on bringing more money in from work, so you’ll have to be doubly careful to avoid common financial pitfalls that can quickly get out of hand. Here are several of the most common.

Credit Card Bills

If you’ve used credit cards in the past and have maintained a balance from month to month, you’ll definitely want to stop this habit before you retire. A credit card balance, and its associated interest rates, will eat away at your retirement money without any good to show for it. If you need to get some credit card debt under control, you might want to find a personal loan with lower interest rates and focus on paying the loan off while not using the cards.

Reverse Mortgages

A reverse mortgage allows you to use the equity in your home to get an additional monthly income or a lump sum payment while agreeing to pay off the loan when you die. You need to carefully consider the various fees and other factors involved in a reverse mortgage before you agree to take one, though they can be worth it for some people.

Reverse Pension Plans

While reverse mortgages are sometimes a good idea, reverse pension plans are always a scam. If anyone offers you a reverse pension plan or reverse retirement plan, you need to walk away immediately.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

Though it isn’t an officially recognized holiday, this September 9^th is Grandparents Day, a day when grandparents and their grandchildren can spend time together and strengthen their bond. This year’s grandparents today is the 33^rd in our nation’s history. President Jimmy Carter officially recognized that the first Sunday after Labor Day would be Grandparents Day when he signed a proclamation in 1979.

Prior to the presidential proclamation, Grandparents Day had been recognized in a majority of states, primarily because of the actions of one woman and her supporters. Marian McQuaid of Oak Hill, West Virginia is widely recognized as the driving force behind the recognition of Grandparents Day Ms. McQuaid, a housewife who often worked with seniors, wanted a day similar to Father’s Day or Mother’s Day in which grandparents could receive recognition and support. From her experience working with seniors, Ms. McQuaid was particularly concerned with the loneliness many of them who lived in nursing homes experience on a daily basis.

Beginning a small local campaign, Ms. McQuaid attracted the support of Senator Jennings Randolph of West Virginia. With the senator on her side, Ms. McQuaid persuaded the governor of West Virginia, Arch Moore, to recognize Grandparent’s Day in 1970. 43 other states also recognized the day by the time President Carter issued the national proclamation.

In 1989, Ms. McQuaid was honored by the Unite States Postal Service with a commemorative envelope issued on the 10^th anniversary of Grandparents Day. By the time she died in 2008, she had 43 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.

The Department of Health and Human Services has reported that about 40 percent of people 65 and older will enter a nursing home at some point in their lives. Roughly 10 percent of those will stay for five years or longer. For veterans, there is an often unused assistance program which can pay for nursing home or caregiver costs for those on limited income. Known as the Aid and Attendance program, it is available to anyone who meets the veteran’s pension eligibility criteria.

Pension Eligibility

To qualify for the Aid and Attendance benefit, a veteran must first qualify for the veteran’s pension. You cannot have been dishonorably discharged, and you must have served 90 days or more of active duty with at least one of those days during time of war. Veterans must also be either 65 or older or permanently and totally disabled. There are also specific income limits which apply, though these change by year and differ depending on whether you are single, married, have dependents, or upon other conditions.

Care Requirements

Anyone eligible for the veteran’s pension can also receive the AA benefit if one or more conditions are met. The veteran must either require an in-home caregiver for everyday living activities, such as bathing, dressing, and using the bathroom, or be bed ridden, be patient in a nursing home, or be legally blind.

Byrd : Garrett, PLLC is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.